is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
