I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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