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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
