At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
