This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
