I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
