I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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