I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
