This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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