opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You were trust falling into bushes
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize