I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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