do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
