Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
