one two three fourrrrnication!
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
