My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
