so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
