So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Let's paint friendship bongs
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize