3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize