oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
