i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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