sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
