so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
