I seem to have left my pride at pride
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
