I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Randomize
