he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize