I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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