then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
