I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
