Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Randomize
