just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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