I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
