Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
