@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
All I want is dick and wine.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize