Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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