I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
