how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
