Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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