i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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