I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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