I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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