Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
