I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
