That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Green mimosas i think yes
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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