girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
there is glitter all over my balls
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