I'm jealous of your bromance
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize