I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
worst night to have a conscience
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
