very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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