Dual....:-)
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
