I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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