..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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