never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
