Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
