You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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