playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
