I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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