he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
