Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
