Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize