Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
