a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My penis needs a shock collar
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
