its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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