I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
