She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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