how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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