Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
