The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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