Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
