spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
