Moan for me like Helen Keller
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
