She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize