The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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