Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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