I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just cropdusted the office
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
