he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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